PISSED OFF AT THE WORLD!!!
Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch. That's just about all I want to do right now. Maybe I'm just tired or something, but I feel inordinately pissed off, and it's like, for WHAT? The same old same old thing, getting mad at people for no particular reason because you just can't figure out why they act like stand-offish jerks to you at the same time they're talking and laughing with someone else. Maybe I'm supposed to suck it up and take it like a bloody adult, but god, I am tired and trying my damned best to be cheerful but after a while underneath the smile you just want to scream and scream and grab someone and shake them: "What the FUCK did I do NOW?!"
Don't curse like me, kiddies, your mouth will rot.
Damn. And you know I've noticed this crazy pattern all throughout my friend-making-life. When I get angry and upset like this, you know, everyone just runs away from me. It's like the time I need moral support the most, right, the time when I feel unstable like my insides are going to explode that everyone just shuts up and stands around like cold stone statues and ignore me. "Maybe if we just stay very quiet, she'll get over it. Oh, just let her rant, it'll blow over soon." And meanwhile all I want, you know, is some persistent attention because I'm stubborn and bad moods want to cling and I'm SO easy to please, really, I just need my friends to PAY ATTENTION to me when I'm upset instead of ignoring me.
So now I've developed this attitude: Oh, don't be upset at them, just be cheerful, because they don't like it when you're upset, they don't know how to deal. So you be cheerful around them and just try to get them through their mood swings because there's this quote somewhere, you know, this quote that says "When someone allows you to bear his burdens, you have found deep friendship."
*sigh* I don't know what the hell I'm saying anymore. It's probably these insane rants that make it so no one wants to share their burdens with me. So I'm going to pack away this insane ranty monster again, and seal it in a box with tape, and paint a happy stable face on the cheap cardboard with permanent marker.
In other news, watched Amelie really late last night with my roommate, and ate sunchips and wheat thins while doing so. Twas fun. Excellent excellent movie.
The best laid plans of mice and men...
But I'm a woman, dammit, my plans should WORK for me!
Ok, enough with that nonsense. Done with my finals for real this time, and in fact, finished the Roman history exam 15 minutes early (which doesn't sound like much, but I NEVER finish early). All yesterday and into this morning I was thinking to myself, "Ok, gonna finish the exam, then gonna go exercise for 30 minutes, then gonna shower, eat, and do fun stuff!!"
I exercise for 15 minutes, and the fire alarm goes off.
Ah well, no big loss. I just went and got a thin straw for my "Thai-flavored" non-bubble bubble tea sitting in the fridge waiting to be consumed, since I have problems w/ the fat bubble straw when there's no, well, bubbles in it. Like I've said. After I finish exercising, I get sidetracked from my shower by...of all things, Matlock.-_- Well, I LIKE old overweight lawyers using their brains in the courtroom, ok??
Yeah, so plans never go exactly as planned. A lesson learned.
Now I'm gonna try posting this song meme I got from Majo's LJ, cuz...I dunno. It's kinda fun and pointless?^^; So the meme (I still am not quite sure what this word means/stands for/represents. Oh well.) goes something like: Let your music player shuffle 20 songs on your playlist, pick your favorite lines from those 20 (no matter how embarrassing the song is), post them and let your friends guess.
...mine are pretty embarrassing, alright.@_@ And I doubt any of my friends, except for the one I got this meme from, will even have a CLUE as to what these songs are, because they're all in a foreign language.^^; Er, oh well?
1. Inoru you ni mabuta tojita toki ni\sekai wa tada yami no soko ni kieru ("When eyes are closed as if in prayer\the world simply disappears into the darkness.")
2. Yuuutsu ni naru genjitsu ni tachi mukau\mune no naka de seichou shiteru yuusha ("Feeling down, but facing reality\the hero grows within.")
3. Haruka tooi mirai no shima e, chizu no nai bouken ryokou\Chiisana OORU nigitte kami hikouki no youni ("Let's go on a mapless journey to a far off and distant future, gripping our small oars like paper airplanes." *side note: if the translation's wrong don't blame me, I just copy and paste...*)
4. Haru no hikari atsumetara hana sakasete\Natsu wa tsuki ukabu umi de mitsumete ("When the spring light warms, the flowers bloom\In summer, I gaze at the moon floating on the sea." *This one was SO hard to choose....@_@ Actually I just like the melody when the person sings this line...*)
5. Yuu'utsu na nichijou\nukedasu koto sae shinai\sonna kimi no soba de\machi-tsudzukete'ru no wa gomen da (And...I just like that entire darned stanza: "I don't even try to escape the gloomy passing of the days\Excuse me for waiting by the side of a person like you.")
6. Futari de nigebasho sagashite\hashitta tenki ame no naka (This is truly laughable. I don't even listen to this song, but in typical packrat fashion, can't bring myself to delete it. But when I looked it up, it sure had nice lyrics: "Together we searched for a place to hide\As we ran in the rain." Twas a toss-up between this line and the same section of the song's 2nd half.)
7. Futari no tame ni sora to daichi ga ugoiteta\shakariki na hi yo Come Back! (Ah. I would love this song, if they'd quit the infernal YIPPING of the backup singers in the chorus. Anyway: "Come back, the days when the sky and the earth moved for us.")
8. Ayatsurare teru no ka on the field daremo ga\Obiezu ni go away demo... (Ok, the beat to this song kicks major behind, but the lyrics are somewhat...lacking. I chose this cuz I just like the way she sings it. Ooh look, a hint. The singer's a girl. And everyone knows how much I love girl singers: "Who is being controlled on the field?\I'm told to go away, but...")
9. Yomigaeru riyuu sae seigi no imi sae mo\Ima wa shiranai omae da keredo (Curses! My favorite line gives the entire darned song away! So I'll pick a second favorite. Actually, what's sad is that I actually love this song. In moderation, of course, but it's still pretty sad, given the...hokey-ness of the entire thing. And now the translation. *pause* Uh oh. What the heck's the guy saying?? *makes stuff up*: "Now, you still don't know the reason I have been resurrected, nor the meaning of justice. However...*and the song goes on to belt out the chorus*" Gah. The humiliation.)
10. Kin no akari ga umi ni ochite natsu no kaze ga togireta\obieru futari ni tada yosete kaesu mizuoto (Whoo! Break out the poetry! Check this baby out, I can hardly choose. But, er, I did. Cuz...I've got no choice. Or something: "A golden light has fallen upon the sea, and the wind of summer has stopped\For two frightened people there is only the repeating sound of water." Or the "gathering and returning sound of water." Those poor frightened people.)
11. Tobidesou dareka ga tsukutta sekai nante\nani mo nai imi ga nai tada no otogibanashi(Again, awesome song, "eh" lyrics. I'm noticing a trend with this lady. Plus, the translations I found suck. I'm trying to reword it so it makes some sense, I have no idea if this is right: "What a world it is that leaps out and strikes someone\There is nothing, there is no meaning, it's all just a fairytale.")
12. Karappo no mienai te ni osare susumu dake\sora no ao sa mo wakaranai de (Gah. Ok, and this guy can't sing. Why is this on my playlist??? "I'm only moving forward because empty and unseen hands push me\I can't even understand why the sky is blue." Well, isn't that depressing.)
13. Aikawarazu "isogashii..." yo ne\Minna iu kara sou demo nai no ni sou naru (Holy crap. This is even worse. I feel like whatever anime with THIS as OP must suck royally. Ok, that's mean. Parts are ok, but the then chorus starts and I want to strangle someone. At least the bridge and beginning are not so annoying. Plus, this is a nice line: "Busy, like always, huh? Even if it isn't true, since everyone says it, it becomes truth.")
14. Dakara ki ni naru\konna kimochi wa naze? (Ok, nevermind. Number 9 is not the most embarrassing. THIS one is!>_< So...so...shoujo bubbly. Guh. *dies* Tries to pick the least mushy line...ah, screw it, there IS no un-mushy line. I'm just gonna pick the line with the nicest beat, IMO: "That's why I'm worried, why do I have such feelings?")
15. Anata ga mienai\kono me wa mienai\Warera tsukuri tamaishi kami (FINALLY a decent song! What the @#$% is up with my player?? I have so many favorite lines from this song that I might as well quote the entire thing. But must...refrain... "I can't see you\My eyes can't see\the god we made from pebbles.")
16. Fureaeru nara motto chikaku ni itai\demo dare ka kizutsukeba kanashiku naru yo ("If we can touch, I want it to be a little closer\but if anyone gets hurt, I'll be upset." Well, DUH?? Gee, that sounds really dumb translated.0_o)
17. Owaru kotoba shinjirarenai mezame no toki wa mada tooi\sen no yoru wo kesenai de mada koko wo tatenai\dare no kokoro mo ugokasenai tada no mukuchi na SHIERAZAADO (Whee! I love this song, and I can't pick a favorite!;_; If you know the title, you'll know what it's an allusion to. And we used to listen to those alluded stories all the time as little kids. Bring on the nostalgia.^^ "I can't believe that it's coming to an end, the time to awaken is still far off\Please don't erase the 1,000 nights. I can't leave here just yet.\I am a merely a silent Sheherazade who cannot move the hearts of anyone." Aaah...the beauty...)
18. Hitomi wo tojireba, hohoemu kao ga mieru\daisukina ano uta ima mo utatte masuka (Could it be?? TWO good songs in a row?! Ok, the lyrics are kinda mushy, but the melody is inexplicably moving. "If I close my eyes, I can see your smiling face\Are you still singing that song I love?")
19. Aa Yatsu nara iu darou\"Hyakuman-nen hayai ze" (Ok, it's established. My player wants to make fun of me for keeping these songs on my playlist. I don't like this nearly as much as #9...and yes, they're related, so if you can guess that, you probably have an inkling of what this is. Ugh...the cheese. I just picked the line that amused me the most with its hokey-ness: "Ah, if it were him, he would probably say, "You're a million years too early!" Ok, me go die of embarrassment now.)
20. Fuzaketa aribai\Shiranai furi wa\Mou dekinai\Konna omoide bakari no\Futari ja nai no ni(My player tries to redeem itself with this last one. I almost want to forgive it. Though this doesn't have any particularly eloquent lyrics, it gets right to the point. "I can't keep pretending that I don't know your stupid alibis. We didn't always just have these kinds of memories." Feel ze angst? I'm not feeling it, but it's a cool song.)
Geez Louise, why the heck did I spend so LONG on this thing?? WHY? And you know, I had something to say after this, but...nah, killed too many brain cells. Gonna stop now. Well, gonna go listen to "Four Seasons," the ED for the 3rd IY movie, as if I haven't had enough Japanese songs yet (I haven't).
