We interrupt the angst on this blog
With some good old-fashioned boring life updates.^_^
Let's see...I dunno why this never occurred to me before, but the DP (Daily Pennsylvanian, our college newspaper) is like the perfect place to find all sorts of random people to draw. I saw this lovely profile of a girl alongside one of the articles and instantly thought, "Hey, I could practice with this!" It prompted me to take the paper, and now that image is sitting on my desk next to a messy "manga-style" rendition of it.^^; There's all these neat sports figures too.
So...plans for tonight. Firstly a shower (I think underwear supply is running low again. Damn the lack of auto-wash undergarments!), then I think I want to watch Otogizoushi episode 3, and then definitely doodle some...and probably do some homework too, because if I don't I keep feeling that I should.^^;
No work tomorrow, so I can stay up as late as I want to! ...not that I don't stay up as late as I want to when I DO have work, it's just that I'm always kicking myself when I get there.^^; Tomorrow too, is Sushi Night and ballet from Canada, back to back. Now THAT's enough to get anybody cheered up. XD
But gah, art history paper is due in a week and a half and I still know nothing about my topic.@____@ Dareka tasukete~~~~~ *smacks self*
I wish I could end with some inspirational quote but I'm kinda running dry on that, so I suppose I could just quote from myself, taking a line from the little note accompanying my attachment of that 5000 word chapter one to the lovely gents and ladies of my creative writing class: "I don't know what my deal is, but I can't seem to shut up." ^_^
I don't like hating people
I don't hate anyone, actually. Even disliking someone leaves me with a sick, cold sort of feeling inside, like something died in there. But yesterday was Veteran's Day, right?
WTF is going on?
Someone once said that the "best war movies are actually anti-war movies." War is not pretty, people. Just because this movie shows you that war is not pretty, doesn't mean you should run away and hide and pretend it doesn't exist. You know what, that's what a good movie is supposed to do. It's supposed to challenge you, make you question what is right and wrong, make you think, REALLY think about important issues. They are supposed to disturb and supposed to haunt.
I for one saw Saving Private Ryan airing when I went down to the exercise room, and I hadn't realized what a big deal that was. But now I want to thank that station (and similar others) for airing the movie, because I find the fear which prevented the 20 or so ABC stations from doing the same very...well, frightening. We can't be afraid. We're really not a small voice. We need to be heard and we need to be heard now, a year from now, 2 years from now, 3 years from now, 4 years from now, into forever.
And did anyone else find that comment from the American Family Association bizarre? Just a little bit? Maybe it's being taken out of context, but it sounded like the guy was more concerned about the word "fuck" (yes, say it with me everyone, FUCK) than he was about the, oh, graphic portrayals of ugly, inglorious deaths throughout the movie. So, heaven forbid your kid knows how to curse, but it's a-ok for him to see people getting their heads blown off? I'm puzzled.
In fact, I'm so puzzled that I'm getting sick of puzzling. An acquaintance of mine from my creative writing workshop came by to pick up some stuff, and we wound up talking about everything from the Ring war to Star Wars to Iraq wars to unknown civil rights wars right here at home. We were just all about the wars. But in between we laughed about how kickass Yoda was, we shared visions of our respective stories, we extolled the genius of the Asian water-heater-thing (it has no equivalent in English), and we pondered our nation. We had a damned good time.
So now I'm going to stop the mad link posting, bar the sense of helpless confusion, at least for today, and do some serious doodlin'. I haven't doodled in what feels like years (only a week, really), and it's driving me crazy. My fingers are itching as they type up this entry. I'm off to splurt creativity. Or at least try to, on what amounts to 1/2 hour's worth of sleep. Ja mata.
Well. Damn.
It's just one piece of bad news after the other. A more recent article this time.
Rest in peace, Iris Chang
As a Chinese-American (well, more accurately I'm Taiwanese, but let's NOT go there), it has always been important to me that I remember the Nanking Massacre, the way Jewish people especially must remember the Holocaust (and SHAME on those people who try to deny that it ever happened. SHAME). What happened in Nanking got way less press than the Holocaust, but the Chinese have good memories. We'll remember, especially when the perps try to erase it from their textbooks, and especially since very few in the rest of the world will.
Anyway, Iris Chang wrote The Rape of Nanking because clearly, she was plagued by the worry that it'll be forgotten (which, if the attempts on the Holocaust--a far more famous WWII tragedy--are any indication, is pretty likely). We NEED people like her, people who aren't afraid to dive into the thick of tragedy, who aren't afraid to confront the ugliness of human nature and expose it, so that we can learn.
But in the end all of that tragedy, all of that hideousness...it was too much, apparently. I'm sorry, Ms. Chang. I wish...I don't know, I wish you hadn't done what you did. I wish you had been able to triumph. I don't want to call you weak, which is the usual adjective to describe suicides, because clearly, you were strong. You dared to write that book, you dared to force reality on people who are all too willing to "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil." I'm just so sorry that the task finally overwhelmed you.
...on top of that depressing discovery, I'm still not done with that 5000 word chapter one.
What. The. Shit.
Yeah. Ok. Take a look at this.
A few Republicans I've encountered online (note, NOT all Republicans) have claimed that the Patriot Act hasn't violated any civil rights. Ok, so someone, ANYONE, please explain that to me. Please explain that article. Give me the other side of the argument. Tell me how this is fucking justified. Since when did the desire for peace become terrorism? Since when did voicing your thoughts in a country that's all about free speech become a crime?
I'm desperate for someone to tell me that this article is BS, and to prove it with facts. I don't want to think this is the country I'm living in. I'm trying to understand why people support this administration, and right now I'm at a loss.
Ok, people in the red states, I do not think you guys are idiots. I do not want to be elitist. I really just want to know what your justifications are, why you think the Bush administration is good enough for another four years when things like this are happening. Is it just because you happen to agree with the war, so you think this should be how anti-war protesters must be treated too? Or maybe you don't know stuff like this is happening. In which case, I'm linking it here in the hopes that someone who does not agree with me, who does not think the Bush administration has problems, will read it and respond.
Back to writing. Except I want to fucking cry.
This is some pretty stinging satire but...
What the heck? I sure cracked up.^^; "Nation's Poor Wins Election for Nation's Rich".
I'm also thinking of emailing the VP of the College Republicans to ask exactly why she voted for Bush. She sounds like an intelligent person who will neither gloat about the victory nor claim that the US is a Christian nation, especially since she makes a very good point in a recent editorial: NO ONE IS F***ING LISTENING TO EACH OTHER!!! (My expletive)
Not tonight though. Tonight I need to write a 5,000 word first chapter for creative writing. Watch me crash and burn. XD
Song rave-age
OMG OMG. The OP from Otogizoushi, this period anime taking place during the Heian Jidai, is the most friggin' awesome, rockin' song EVER. I have to read cell bio, but I couldn't resist coming on here and just singing its praises (pun not intended) for a while.
DAAANG it's so cool. It's got this exciting beat and listening to it reminds me of Chinese kung fu period dramas (not much of a stretch, since Otogizoushi is essentially a Japanese samurai period anime XD), which I practically grew up on. Talk about major nostalgia. And even though I normally dislike rap, for some reason when the Japanese do it, I just find it so charming! I think I might be just biased cuz of the language, but whatever! Ok, to be honest if the entire song were rap I'd dislike it, but the rap's only during this small bridge portion, and it's very unobtrusive. And charming. XD
It's so on repeat right now. Gad, it rocks my socks. Even though I'm not wearing any. "Tabibito yo, furimuku na...." (Oh traveler, do not look back...)
I'm also currently obsessed with a whole slew of Alanis Morissette's songs: "Utopia," "You Owe Me Nothing in Return" (officially the "Tessel song"), "So Unsexy," and "Surrendering." Especially the first 3. XD XD XD Ah, music.
There's nothing worse than...
Missing out on a chance for free food.>_< Yesterday I came back from recitation, frozen to the bone and uncomfortable and hungry, and couldn't for the life of me remember if there was something I was supposed to do that night (which didn't involve homework). I checked my weekly planner and the "extracurricular" section was blank. So I go, "Ok, this nagging feeling must be my imagination and paranoia."
They were serving Chinese food on the 6th floor! For FREE! Chinese food! For FREE!!
I was devastated when, at around 2:00 AM, I realized I had missed the event. And on Sunday I was all excited because my dinner plans were set for two straight nights (Monday there was this "Battle of the Curries," where we got Thai curry, African curry, and Indian curry. The line was WAY too long, but I got a plate so I had no complaints). Le sad.;__;
In happier news, Alanis Morissette rocks. The inspiring quote of the day goes to her: "We would stay and respond and expand and include and allow and forgive and enjoy and evolve and discern and inquire and accept and admit and divulge and open and reach out and speak up. This is my utopia." ~ "Utopia," Under Rug Swept
Amen to that.
Get me THIS for my birthday!
No seriously, this is like, my new dream house. I don't need a lot of space, and I do still harbor wishes for a mini-library of my own, but heck, I'm sure I can do something about all that blank wall space and floor space (bookshelves! More bookshelves!). It's just so...so...fashionably ergonomical.^_^ My practical Asian side is deeply moved.
The Small House of small houses
Of course, if you can't afford to get me the mini-house, feel free to get me a pair of working earplugs. My radiator has started up. AGAIN.
Over and out.
...ooooor not. Before I go, I ask you all to just check typefiend out. He singlehandedly restored my faith in non-friend people on the 'net, and is a truly inspiring presence. I strive to be like this guy.
Wishlist
Cuz people ask and I'm too stingy to be a consumer? Wasn't gonna post this tonight, but somebody **coughMajocough** was being pushy.^^
1. LotR Two Towers DVD, **extended version only!**
2. LotR Return of the King DVD, **extended version only!**
2a. Mature open minded people and world peace. (I am greedy, yes I am)
3. Barnes and Noble gift certificate of a decent amount.
3. Fluency in Japanese and sign language. (And my native Chinese, and French, and Irish Gaelic, and Greek, and Latin, and Elvish, and...)
4. A pencil case. Preferably cute and not too big (but not so small that you can't fit an unsharpened no. 2 pencil in there) and definitely NOT the metal kind, to replace the Japanese one dear Di gave me senior year, which I promptly lost at the end. (I'm sorry Di! I really loved that thing! I can't forget it, even now!) Cuz yeah, the one I have used to be blue, with cute cartoony ducks on it, and now it's friggin' *white*.
4a. A yellow buggy. XD
5. The soundtrack for Les Mis. The big, fat, comes-with-a-full-script version.
6. The soundtrack for Rent. Same as above.
7. Bleach manga. Preferably in Chinese. BASARA manga. Chinese too. Except I don't know which ones I already have, so never mind.
7a. Oh yeah! A hoodie! A soft, big (must be big) comfy hoodie that is not grey or dark green (I have those colors already). Ooh, the comfort.
7b. A sort of throw blanket that can be rolled up and is either made of the same stuff that hoodies are made out of, or some other comfortable soft, smooth stuff. (So not wool or anything that has too much texture.)
7c. **edit** OMG, I can't believe I forgot! How about some classic Sherlock Holmes stuff on DVD? You know, the ones starring Basil Rathbone (...or however you spell the poor man's name @_@)? **end edit**
8. That new Alanis Morissette CD?
9. ....dur....
9a. Straight teeth and Einstein's brain.
10. *struggling* Noir...anime? Or...uh, another set of Hero VCDs since mine are defective? Or...GTO live action VCDs? Or...
10a. Free, quality sushi for the rest of my life.
10b. Free, quality milk tea for the rest of my life.
11. A colored picture?^_^ Of the immortals and the SR peeps? <--getting too specific
12. A story? College AU-ish? <--will stop being too specific
12a. Untarnished forests and protected wildlife.
13. A pretty wallet to replace my dearly departed one.
14. If you're really at a loss, you can give me...money? Or...chocolates? (Milk chocolate of high quality or Ferrio's hazelnut round chocolate ball things. Maybe it's not Ferrio but Ferrier. Why can't I ever remember the name of my favorite chocolate??)
14a. Marriage rights for gay people.
15. A good digital camera. (If anyone gets me this, I'm gonna smack them for spending so much money on me.)
I've squeezed my brains out. I think that's it. Buy away, friends!
And life bowls you over
Man, so I'm reading my cell bio book while bemoaning the fact that I (10 to 1) did really badly on that second midterm because I spent most of my time studying for orgo the day before (which paid off, cuz I did quite well on that midterm), and I come across this: "our macrophages phagocytose more than 10^11 senescent red blood cells in each of us every day" (Alberts, Molec. bio of the cell, p.746 my citation is wrong so sue me).
Dang, you know what that means? That's like, if we don't have those, we'd be these freaky (and dead) things just exploding with red blood cells! We'd be bulging out in grotesque shapes cuz they would just build up and build up and never go away!
Ok, so you would totally die before it becomes physically noticeable, but still, isn't the image like, one heck of a horror movie idea?^^;
Right. Anyway. Back to our scheduled program.
The state of things
I can't concentrate. I have a buttload of work to do but I can't focus on any of it, even though art history is fascinating and we're on Gothic stuff now, which totally rocks. But in my head there's this veritable maelstrom of...of current social issues, jumping from gay rights to pro-choice vs. pro-life to the disproportionate amount of blacks in jail... I keep thinking and trying to figure out how this will change. I don't know. I am so not visionary.
Today I went to a concert by the University Symphony Orchestra, which performed Dvorak's Serenade in D Minor, Kevin Matthew Puts's Inspiring Beethoven, and then--the highlight of the evening, the man himself--Beethoven's 7th Symphony. It was beautiful and uplifting and I forgot those issues for a while, but then they came back like vengeful ghosts. Perhaps it is because those songs ARE so beautiful, that they reflect the ugliness all the better. I don't know. I'm not really a philosopher either.
I gave a poor man some change today despite all the warnings that we shouldn't, because they'll just use the money to buy drugs. I don't know if I did the right thing there, either. I regretted that I didn't give him more after I left, but then I thought maybe he had called me "bitch" in his head because he thought I was well off, and he was just taking advantage of my naivete. ...things shouldn't be this complicated.
So now I'm typing here because it's 12:37 AM, I have some fascinating art history to read, a story to write, and a friend to talk to. It's the weekend when we can both relax, and here I am being all gloom and doom. Beating myself over all these things isn't really going to help anybody.
I have a cup of Lady Grey and a package of Fig Newtons, one of my current obsessions (the other is Hot/Lean/Croissant Pockets...dang, they're so good I don't understand). I will leave behind the troubles of the world for tonight, and forget the results of the election and all those implications.
...these fig newtons are heavenly.
